A week ago today . . .

I gave birth to our daughter, Keely Star, at exactly 3:32 in the afternoon. I thought I would offer some highlights of the past week and share some of the latest photos I have of our sweet baby girl.

The first night we were home, Keely kept us up all night. Fortunately, Carl didn't have work the next day, which was Saturday; so despite being dragged down from a physical standpoint, the lack of sleep didn't affect us to the point of total inability to function. We figured out real quick that Keely loves to cuddle. She wanted us to hold her, and we did most of Saturday and Sunday--really, most of the week. I guess I like to cuddle with her, too. On Saturday, we realized that none of the clothes we had for Keely to wear fit her. She was born weighing 6 lbs. 13 oz., which is pretty small, given the fact that our last sono estimated her birth weight to be in the vicinity of 8 lbs. After little hesitation, I called my oldest sister, Amy, who lives just about 4 blocks from me, to stay with Keely, while Carl and I ran to Babies R Us to get the girl some clothes that fit, preemie size in other words. I wasn't supposed to drive due to the pain pills I was taking, and I did not trust Carl to pick out clothes on his own. We were only gone about 45 minutes. Amy was thrilled that I had asked her to do us this favor. We got two really cute outfits and some of those waterproof lap pads, spent pretty much all of the gift card we'd planned on saving for an emergency need-more-diapers-but-we're-broke run. Carl and I enjoyed the time alone and out of the house, since we had not left home or the hospital since being admitted the previous Tuesday. But, even though we enjoyed the time away, I ended up feeling super guilty that evening. Keely would not eat--we're breastfeeding--and she kept crying. I spent Saturday night up with her, trying to get her to nurse, and crying my eyes out because who leaves a three-day-old baby with a sitter to complete some mindless task and why wouldn't my baby girl eat, amongst being so tired and feeling the effects of post-partum blues. I decided to give her formula at that point, because I was afraid she would starve. This continued all through Sunday. I would try to nurse but end up giving her formula. I was so sad about it, too. It was a wishy-washy day. Carl didn't know what to do. I couldn't stop feeling the way I was feeling either. Between both of us, we were a wreck. Then comes Monday, the day of Keely's first doctor's appt. I tried to feed her prior to making the 8:30 visit with Dr. Stripling. She actually ate a tiny bit, but I still supplemented with formula, which she only took an ounce of. I left the diaper bag and everything else in the car and headed uo to the 5th floor with Keely in my arms. (I'm not supposed to carry anything over 10 lbs., since I had to have an episiotomy during delivery.) Lo and behold, I brought a starving baby to the appt. The office was freezing, and her blanket was in the car. She was screaming, and I had nothing with me besides the useless contents of my purse. The nurse came in to assess the situation, took Keely from me so I could finish filling out the mounds of paperwork needed, and even found her a bottle of the ready-made formula I'd been using so my little girl wouldn't go hungry. She fed her, while I expressed my concerns about breastfeeding. The lady made me feel a lot better and made sure to list nursing as one of my concerns for Dr. Stripling to address. When he came in, he was almost exactly the same as I remembered him being when I was a kid, only he was quite a bit older. He said Keely looked great, that he thought she was a pretty baby, had great muscle tone, even that he thought her cry was sort of cute, compared to some of the other cries he'd heard. He addressed all of my concerns and gave me the phone number to La Leche League, a group of "breastfeeding experts," according to him. After watching my daughter scream and wail during the PKU test, where they prick a heel and squeeze the blood out of it, I headed to my mom's because my Momo was due to arrive soon to see her newest great-grandchild. I spent the day there, called the number to LLL, and ended up getting some wonderful advice from Helen (of the league)that worked like a charm that afternoon. Keely breastfed for 20 minutes that time. I was relieved and happy. I decided to attend the monthly meeting of LLL the following morning, despite having success for most of the night. I gave in and gave Keely a bottle of formula during her 6 AM feeding, mostly because I was so exhausted. The meeting was at 10. I am so glad I attended, too, because I haven't had to give my baby a bottle since that 6 AM feeding. Helen helped a lot. Breastfeeding in front of people was almost a violation of my modesty, but I got over it because I wanted to help my baby girl get this down. And, I did. Yay for that! I even met another mom of a 6 week old that I thought I could be friends with. I didn't get her number or anything, but I plan to go to the next meeting in July, where I will likely see her. Even though we're getting the hang of things now, I still liked being able to connect with other moms and moms-to-be. Getting and giving advice were also perks of the meeting. Keely's had successful feedings since. That doesn't necessarily mean my darling hubby and I have gotten a good night's sleep, though. Keely sleeps better now that her tummy is full, but she still wakes up wanting to be held multiple times during the night. For instance, on Monday, I was so exhausted that I didn't know if I would make it. I was going off of 2 hrs. of sleep each night for the past 3 nights. I was drained. I also was trying to help Carl out by staying up with Keely during the night. He had to go back to work Monday, and I have the summer off. But, Monday night, I just couldn't do it. After feeding her and putting her down in the bassinet, my energy was shot. She woke up less than an hour later, crying for someone to pick her up. Carl woke me up, thinking I would do it, but no go. I just didn't have anything to offer. He got up instead and brought Keely to bed with him. She slept, while he watched a movie and tried his hardest not to doze off. When I woke up a couple of hours later, it was time for Carl to get ready for work. He told me that she was being so sweet and that it was okay I didn't get up with her. He was pretty tired Tuesday, though, which affected his temperament. At around 5 AM the following morning, I was trying to feed Keely, but she wouldn't wake up. I kept thinking she would wake up any minute, ready to eat, and I would just have to get up out of my comfy bed again and feed her. Rather than do that, I propped my feet up on the couch, got a few pillows, and held her. Of course, I dozed off, only to be awoken at 8 AM by Carl, who proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't hold Keely if I was going to fall asleep. Keely woke up 10 minutes later, ready to eat. I included those stories as precursors to last night, when something so sweet and adorable happened. I was feeding Keely at about 4 AM, and she made this sweet little cooing sound. I looked over at my sleeping-completely-out husband, and he was patting his chest the way he pats Keely when he's holding her. I tapped his hand, and he opened his eyes (still asleep, though). He said, "I need to put her down because I'm about to pass out." I said, "You mean I need to put her down." He responded by repeating what he'd said. I told him he didn't have her. He said, "I don't?" I said, "No, I have her." He rolled over then and was out. I thought it was adorable he was in DAD-mode even while sleeping. Thus, I want to end with some thoughts on what I've witnessed regarding my spouse since Keely's birth. When she was born, she cried and cried, as most babies do. Once they handed her to Carl, though, she stopped. He's gotten up with her at night, watched her while I went to bed two hours earlier than normal to catch up on sleep, changed diapers, and picked out clothes. He's kissed her and told her he loves her every time he leaves for work or puts her down for bed. He's sympathized and celebrated with me throughout the whole feeding debaucle. He even cried with me then. You never know how great your significant other can be until you see how he handles being a new dad. I am so thankful Carl's my significant other and the father of our sweet Keely. Even though our marriage has had some rocky spots, I will always think Keely and I both got lucky when God put Carl and me together.